We all know that travelling can be a romantic experience. And whether you’re honeymooning with your significant other or meeting other single travelers, sex is something that happens from time to time. Let’s say you’re out exploring a foreign city, stop into a cafe or a bar, and find yourself engaging in a conversation with another traveler. Maybe you two really hit it off and decide that it’s time to go somewhere more private. But unlike when you’re at home, you don’t have your bedroom that you can use for whatever sexual adventures you plan to embark on. In a hostel setting, you are sharing your space with other people that you probably have never met, and you want to be respectful of other people’s boundaries. But sometimes, you just really want to get it on. So what’s the best way to go about it? How do you get intimate without disturbing the other people staying in your hostel? Here’s what you should and should not do in regards to having sex in a hostel:
Don’t do it in the dorm
If you’re going to have sex in a hostel setting, do not, by any means, do it in a dorm. This is rule number one. Even if it's the middle of the day and you think that the chances someone might walk in on you are very low, find another place to get intimate. Nobody wants to walk into their dorm to get a change of clothes in the middle of the day and hear the noises and smell the scents of your passionate love-making. Also, most hostels have some sort of cleaning staff that usually cleans out the rooms in the middle of the day. How would you feel if someone was fornicating while you were trying to workl? Having sex in the dorms late at night when you’re pretty sure everyone else in the dorm is asleep is no better. I’ve had a few sleepless nights staying in hostels because some couple felt the need to get freaky in the bunk below me. I don’t want to be the guy who interrupts someone in the middle of the act, but I also want to get a good sleep at night. So what did I do? I politely asked the fornicating couple to stop, which they were not happy about. It was a very awkward experience. Don’t force other people to have to go through this experience. Don’t have sex in the dorm.
Get a private room
Most hostels offer private rooms where you can be in complete privacy and embark on whatever sexual adventures you choose. And while these rooms will often cost a good deal more than a bed in a dorm, they are the best option if you want to spend quality time with your sexual partner. I understand it can be slightly awkward if you were staying in a dorm the previous night and then you have to go to the reception desk and ask if you and your sexual partner can change to a private room. But I can assure you, being asked to leave the hostel because you were having sex in the dorms is a far more awkward experience. So if you can afford it, pay a little bit extra to stay in a private room and avoid disturbing the other guests at the hostel. Plus, if you are planning on staying in a private room with someone else, you can always split the cost.
Be creative
If you really don’t want to cough up the money to pay for a private room, but you are set on getting physical with another guest of the hostel, get creative! We’ve already established that doing it in the dorms is a no-no, so use your imagination. Find somewhere else to have your fun. Maybe try the shower. The sound of the running water is a great way to camouflage whatever noises you and your partner are going to make while you’re getting it on. Another good way to drown out these sounds is by running the washing machine. So maybe try the laundry room. I’ve also heard that rooftops, if your hostel has one, are a romantic and discreet place to do your business. Just make sure you don’t get too crazy and fall.
Naturally, the hostel staff would prefer that you didn’t have sex in the hostel at all. But, if they see you’ve made an effort to be discreet and not disturb the other guests, they’re sure to be more forgiving than if you are shamelessly having sex in a dorm. So get creative with your sexual endeavors, it will help you stay in the good graces of the other people in the hostel, and it will make for a more memorable experience for you!
Stay safe
Many hook-ups that happen in hostels are spur-of-the-moment, passionate encounters between people that may not know each other very well. While that’s all well and good, in fact that’s part of the fun of it all, it is still important to practice safe sex. Use contraceptives, wear a condom, and avoid spreading disease. You want to remember your sexual experiences from your travels in a positive light instead of regretting them because of a silly mistake. Stay safe and travel with a clear conscience.
Don’t be creepy
I wish I didn’t feel the need to include this, but unfortunately I do. Staying in a hostel means that you are forced to share your living space with other people who you probably do not know at all. The entire concept of a hostel relies upon the common respect and decency amongst its guests and staff. Don’t be so hell-bent on getting laid that you make other people in your hostel feel unsafe or uncomfortable. It is perfectly fine to do a bit of flirting, maybe ask someone to go sightseeing with you or grab a bite to eat. But read the signs. If you are into another guest in your hostel and that person shows no reciprocal interest, let it go! Don’t follow that person around, stare at them, or make inappropriate comments that are going to make that person uncomfortable. Travelling alone can be intimidating and sometimes a little scary, so be respectful and don’t make anyone feel unsafe.
If you want to read more about how to practice proper etiquette when having sex in a hostel, check out this blog post from Nomadic Matt:
https://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/how-to-have-sex-in-hostels/
And check out the other articles in our hostel etiquette series: